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Showing posts with label Alok Nath. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Alok Nath. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 15, 2014
Alok Nath's Latest Jokes And Facts

Alok Nath's Latest Jokes And Facts



Badrinath and Kedarnath were called Badri and Kedar before Alok Nath visited them.

AAP was called TU before getting blessed by Alok Nath. Alok Nath dyes his black hair white.

Alok Nath watched The Fast and the Furious hoping it was a movie about Monday' Fast.

Alok nath is the only person jisne valentine pe apni gf ka kanyadaan kr dia..

Alok Nath's Favorite Atta Is Aashirvaad Atta !!

Alok Nath is so sanskari that when he heard the song "Gandi baat" he pours Ganga Jal into his Ears.

Alok Nath ne ek baar IIT ka exam diya. Now that exam is called IIT JEE Q.

What would Alok Nath say in a Thumbs Up ad? A. Aaj kuch sanskari kartein hain.

When Alok Nath met Mark Zuckerberg, he requested for an Aashirwas button on Facebook.

When Alok Naths girlfriend asked him out to a Disco, he took her for Jagrata.

What would be movie name if Alok Nath directs them? 1. Kanyadaan No. 1 2. Kanyadaan at Wadala 3.

Sanskari waale Kanyadaan Kar Jayenge 4. Maine Kanyadaan kyo kiya 5. Kanyadaan kiya toh drama kya

Alok Naths favourite songs are "Where's the Aarti tonight?" and "4 baj gaye lekin Aarti abhi baaki hai".

Alok Naths favourite actress is Mandir-a Bedi.

Alok Nath played Samdhi-Samdhan when his friends played Doctor Doctor.

When Alok Nath gets a gangsters role in a movie, he smokes dhoop instead of a cigar

Alok Nath sends Samdhan requests instead of Friend requests.

Inspired by Koffee with Karan, Alok Nath plans to come with 'Sanskar with Alok'.

Alok Nath used to bunk classes and go to temple.

When Alok Nath is out of reach on mobile, it says "Jis upbhokta ko aap call karna chahtein hain wo abhi Kanyadaan kar rahe hain".

Alok Nath had all the senior citizen privileges since he was 6 years old.

What Santa Claus is to Christmas, Alok Nath is to weddings.

Once Alok Nath gave a speech on a channel. Since then the channel is known as Sanskaar.

Alok Nath removed his slippers before he plays Temple Run.

Alok Nath walks into a bar and orders haldi ka doodh..!!

Yeh alok nath jee ke sanskaaron ka hi asar hai ki unkey ghar ka cooker bhi seeti nahi maarta.

Sunny Leone takes a ghunghat when Alok Nath comes in front of her.

Aloknath holds a world record of having the maximum heart-attacks in one lifetime..!!

If Aloknath was Batman, thn the Joker would say, "why so sanskari?"

Alok Nath's BBM pin is: 5AN5KAR.

Alok Nath's children get Aashirwad instead of pocket money.

ALOK NATH is now declared as the S.I Unit of SANSKAAR..

Alok Nath ne paida hote hi hospital me apne bagal wale bed ki ladki goad le li thi.

Alok nath (angry mood) to his wife: "agar tu meri patni nhi hoti to ab tk tera kanyadan kar diya hota".

In Hotel, Waiter: Sir normal water or mineral water?
Alok nath: GANGAJAL...
Monday, January 13, 2014
Alok Nath Memes and Funny Jokes

Alok Nath Memes and Funny Jokes

Alok Nath is in news from the past few days and gaining so much popularity through its Memes on popular social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter. Here in this article we are going to share best collection of AlokNath Memes, Funny Jokes, SMS, Whatsapp Wallpapers that you can share with you friends and make them laugh. Nath has taken jokes on him sportingly. He admitted that he liked most of the jokes!.














100's of Alok Nath Latest Jokes

100's of Alok Nath Latest Jokes


    “Mujhe Betiyon Ke Babuji Ban’na Hey” – Alok Nath when teacher asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up.
    According to ‘Hindu Marriage Act’, a girl cannot marry if Alok Nath disapproves.
    After Kalyug, It’s going to be ‘Alok-Nath-Yug’.
    Alok Nath believes in ‘Aashirwad at first sight’.
    Alok Nath believes the ‘F’ in FTV stands for Family.
    Alok Nath calls Sunny Leone as ‘Sunny Beti’.
    Alok Nath can destroy his trolls just by sprinkling few drops of water from his Kamandal and saying “Jaa Main Tujh Hen Shrap Deta Hun”.
    Alok Nath carried Hanuman-Chalisa to school instead of notebooks.
    Alok Nath collected all his savings and tried to purchase Rajesh Khanna’s bungalow as it is named
    ‘Aashirwad’.
    Alok Nath does not sign a movie till there are at least three crying scenes.
    Alok Nath eats Prasad as starters.
    Alok Nath favorite game is football. It is because of players like Kaka, Mata and Nani.
    Alok Nath gave Dacoit Valmiki such a deep and massive lecture on Sanskaar that he became
    religious person.
    Alok Nath goes to KFC to eat his favorite ‘Gaajar ka Halwa’.
    Alok Nath had all the Senior Citizen privileges since he was 6 years old.
    Alok Nath has just completed level 66 on ‘Barfi Crush’.
    Alok Nath has never received salary, he always received pension.
    Alok Nath has requested for ‘Saubhagyavati Raho’ button on Facebook.
    Alok Nath has requested for an ‘Aashirwad’ button to Twitter.
    Alok Nath has zero friends because he always turns ‘Dosti into Rishtedaari’.
    Alok Nath is ‘Babuji-Zoned’ at first sight.
    Alok Nath is father of so many betaas and betis that when his family decides to go on a vacation,
    they book a train!
    Alok Nath is now a worried man, Obama’s daughter is getting marriageable.
    Alok Nath is so sanskaari that he bought a new phone and broke coconut on it.
    Alok Nath is so sanskaari that he buys the newspaper just to read the matrimonial.
    Alok Nath is so sanskaari that he closes his eyes when he takes a bath.
    Alok Nath is so sanskaari that he cuts ‘Mathura Ke Pede’ on his birthday.
    Alok Nath is so sanskaari that he distributes ‘Prasad’ after crossing each level in Temple Run.
    Alok Nath is so sanskaari that he removes his slippers before playing Temple Run.
    Alok Nath is so sanskaari that he was born at the age of 65.
    Alok Nath is so sanskaari that he whips himself with leather belt if he sees his own body above
    knees.
    Alok Nath is so sanskaari that when he heard the song ‘Gandi Baat’, he put ‘Gangajal’ in his ears.
    Alok Nath is so sanskaari that when he walks into a bar, the bar walks out.
    Alok Nath is someone who is worried about ‘Kanyadaan’ of a girl who is yet to be born.
    Alok Nath is such a personality that at times his wife calls him ‘Bhaisaab’.
    Alok Nath is the original ‘Father of the Nation’.
    Alok Nath is the SI unit of ‘Sanskar’.
    Alok Nath Ne Ekk Baar Toot’te Taare Ko Dekh Keh Beti Ki Bidae Maang Li.
    Alok Nath Ne Janam Lete Hi Nurse Ka Kanyadaan Kar Diya Tha.
    Alok Nath Ne Sirf Ek Ashlil Movie Dekhi Hey: ‘Dropadi Ka Cheer Haran’.
    Alok Nath once blessed wheat farms and now we have ‘Aashirwaad-Atta’.
    Alok Nath once said “Jeete Raho” to a man and today he is known as ‘MDH wale Dadaji’.
    Alok Nath only saw this season of Big Boss, Kyun Ki ‘Big Boss Saath 7 Hai’.
    Alok Nath serves ‘Gangajal’ in cocktail parties.
    Alok Nath smokes ‘Agarbattis’.
    Alok Nath snorts Agarbattis at rave parties.
    Alok Nath strongly disapproves of Mukesh Ambani. Because his Sanskar met with an accident.
    Alok Nath used to bunk school for Ram Katha.
    Alok Nath walks into a bar and orders ‘Haldi Ka Doodh’.
    Alok Nath walks slowly, because of song ‘Babuji Zara Dheere Chalo’.
    Alok Nath wants an “Aashirwad” button on Twitter!
    Alok Nath was the first person to call ‘Parle’ as ‘Parle-G’.
    Alok Nath was wanted to be Kenya’s “Father of the Nation”. So that he could do ‘Kenya-daan’.
    Alok Nath watches Fast and Furious movies wearing a seat belt.
    Alok Nath went to Shirdi for his honeymoon.
    Alok Nath went to Sunburn Music Festival and did a ‘Surya-Namaskar’ over there.
    Alok Nath went to ‘Vaishno Devi’ for his Bachelor’s party before marriage.
    Alok Nath will do item number dance only if it’s ‘Bhakti-Sangeet’.
    Alok Nath won the ‘STAR Parivaar Award’ for Favorite Pita Bread.
    Alok Nath: “You know nothing of ‘friend-zone’. I am ‘Babuji-zoned’.”
    Alok Nath: a silent guardian, a watchful father, our ‘Kanyadaan’ expert.
    Alok Nath’s caller tune is “Babul Ki Duaayen Leti Ja”.
    Alok Nath’s CV reads: Degree – MBA in Kanyadaan. Skills – Sanskaar. Experience – done total 1109673 Kanyadaan. Hobby – Giving Aashirwaad.
    Alok Nath’s idea of a music concert is a ‘Mata Ka Jagrata’.
    Alok Nath’s talk show would be called “Aashirwad with Alok”.
    Alok Nath’s watch displays only ‘Achha’ and ‘Bura’ samay.
    Alok Nath’s WhatsApp shows: “Last seen doing Kanyadaan at..”
    Alok Nath’s wildest fantasies involve a harmonium and Reema Lagoo.
    Angry Birds became ‘Sansakari Birds’ in Alok Nath’s smartphone.
    Anoop Jalota is Alok Nath’s Yo Yo Honey Singh.
    Arun Govil grew old and became Alok Nath.
    ‘Babuji Zara Dheere Chalo’ song was written when Alok Nath was young.
    Breaking News: All the conspiracy behind Alok Nath has been revealed. It was Rajnikant who started all this to divert peoples mind from his jokes.
    Buddha and Ashoka wanted to live a lavish and lustful life, but then they met Alok Nath.
    Even Emran Hashmi can’t kiss Alok Nath daughters because of their Sanskar.
    Even when Alok Nath clicks his Selfie, he makes sure that his 52 family members, 3 servants, Krishan ji ki murti and 2 dogs.

    Every Christmas, Alok Nath fills stockings with Aashirwad.
    For Alok Nath, ‘Ram Chahe Leela Chahe Leela Chahe Ram’ is a bhajan.
    Future Breaking News: Tour operators to launch ‘Alok Nath Yatra’ to clean all your sins.
    Gandhi Ji used to call Alok Nath a Mahatma.
    Gods take blessings from Alok Nath.
    If Alok Nath goes in Bigg Boss then every morning will start with a Hanuman Chalisa and aarti of Mata Rani.
    If Chuck Norris & Rajnikanth make love to Nirupa Roy at the same time & if they have a baby boy, that boy will grow old to become Alok Nath.
    In school days, Alok Nath bunked a lecture to attend his daughter’s wedding.
    Jab Babuji Alok Nath Hon, Toh Emraan Hashmi Bhi Sanskari Hon Jata Hey.
    Kalyug was started when Alok Nath did a negative role in ‘Bol Radha Bol’.
    Koi Ladki Unh Sehn Chhu Naa Jaye Ess Liye, Alok Nath Ji Ne Aaj Tak Touch Screen Phone Nahi Liya.
    Number of Kanyadaan done by Alok Nath is still higher than the number of days attended by an article in his article ship.
    Once Alok Nath bought a new MacBook laptop and broke coconut on it.
    Once Alok Nath gave aashirwad to a boy. Today we know that boy as Arvind Kejriwal.
    Once Rajnikanth opened Ramayana and Alok Nath was born.
    Poonam Pandey should thank her stars that Alok Nath didn’t give her Sanskars, else her life would’ve been hopeless and jobless.

    Question: Alok Nath’s favorite song?
    Answer: ‘Oppa Samdhan Style!’
    Question: How would Alok Nath howl if he was a Werewolf?
    Answer: ‘Bahuuuuu…’
    Question: What will Alok Nath ride if he stars in Dhoom 3?
    Answer: Bullock cart.
    Question: Which car does Alok Nath drive?
    Answer: Sanskar
    Rahul Dravid was Alok Nath of Indian Cricket team.
    Rohit Sharma and Dale Steyn should watch some Alok Nath movies and learn Sanskar.
    Salman Khan is still Virgin because of Sanskar given by Alok Nath in ‘Maine Pyaar Kiya’.
    The only two wars Alok Nath has seen in his life are ‘Haridwar’ and ‘Pariwar’.
    This New Year eve, Alok Nath is going to drink ‘Charnamrat’ on the rocks.
    When a girl goes down on Alok Nath, he gives her aashirwad.
    When Alok Nath caught a thief, he took him to ‘Mata Ki Chowkie’ instead of police chowkie!
    When Alok Nath decides to get modern he wears ‘dhotis with zips’.
    When Alok Nath is around Even Salman Khan behaves like a good son.
    When Alok Nath parties, it means tea party.
    When Alok Nath plays temple run, he runs TOWARDS the temple.
    When Alok Nath was born doctor said, “Badhaai Hon, Babuji Huye Hey”.
    When Alok Nath was born, Doctor gave him to his father and said, “Mubarak Hon, Betiyon Ka Baap Huwa Hai”.
    When you type Alok Nath on Google search, “I’m feeling Lucky” changes to “I’m feeling Sanskari”.

 
Alok Nath has taken Twitter jokes sportingly

Alok Nath has taken Twitter jokes sportingly

On Sunday night, for no apparent reasons, jokes, some of them funny and others crude, based on Bollywood actor Alok Nath started trending on Twitter. By Monday, Alok Nath was the top 2 trending topic on Twitter India.



Nath, most notable for playing the role of Haveli Ram in Ramesh Sippy's television series Buniyaad, comes from Bihar's Khagaria district.

Nath appeared in the 1989 Salman Khan-starrer superhit film, Maine Pyar Kiya, playing the father of Bhagyashree Patwardhan's character, Suman. Nath, who mostly plays supporting roles as a father or uncle who is shown as a humble and a kind person, has been part of Bollywood blockbuster movies like Hum Saath-Saath Hain, Taal, Hum Aapke Hain Koun, Pardes and Vivah.

Breaking from his stereotypical roles, he also played negative characters in films like Bol Radha Bol, Vinashak - Destroyer and Shadyantra.

Nath also made an appearance in the international award-winning Richard Attenborough-directed film Gandhi (1982).

Some of the jokes trending on Twitter are given below:

@imDRV520 12h: Salman Khan is still Virgin because of Sanskar given by Alok Nath in Maine Pyaar Kiya.

@ap8130012101: When Alok Nath was born doctor said, "Badhaai ho, babuji huay hain.

@shubHASHISH13h: Alok Nath smokes agarbattis.

@bhavinjadav: Alok Nath's wildest fantasies involve a harmonium and Reema Lagoo.

@bizzarebhide: For Alok Nath, Ram chahe Leela chahe Leela chahe Ram is a bhajan.

?@KapilSharmaPJs: Alok Nath call his wife 'Samdhaan'.

@brij_cfg : If Alok Nath goes in Biggboss.. Every morning will start with a Hanuman Chalisa and Mata Rani Aarti.

@Witticisms_ 5m: Poonam Pandey shud thank her stars that Alok Nath didnt give her Sanskars, else her life would've been hopeless & she would've been jobless.

@mainbhiengineer 21m: Rohit Sharma and Dale steyn should watch some Alok nath movies and learn Sanskar

?@iAnkurMishra 23m: Alok Nath was the first person to call Parle as ParleG!"

@EatPrayLoveM 55m: Alok Nath only saw this season of Big Boss. Kyunki Big Boss saath 7 hai

?@twilightfairy 12h: Why are people talking about alok nath? PS. autocorrect turned him into aloo bath

@TheNaique 12h: Alok Nath went for Sunburn and did surya namaskar.

@JAmmuRaa 2m: Rahul Dravid was Alok Nath of Indian Cricket team.

@iAnkurMishra: Alok Nath once blessed wheat farms and now we have Aashirwaad atta

@madhu27: Wat will Alok Nath ride if he stars in Dhoom 3 ? Bullock cart.

@Ohfakenews: Once Alok Nath gave aashirwad to a boy. Today we know that boy as ARVIND KEJRIWAL.

Alok Nath snorts Agarbatti ash at rave parties.

@Youteecrush: Alok Nath believes the F in FTV stands for Family

Some more:

"Gandhiji used to call mahatma to Alok Nath."

"Alok Nath carried Hanuman Chalisa to school instead of Notebooks."

"Alok Nath is father to so may betas and betis that when his family decides to go on vacation they book a train!"

"Alok Nath wants twitter to add 'Aashirwad' button."

"Buddha and Ashoka wanted to live a lavish and lustful life, but then they met Alok Nath."

"When Alok Nath is around Even Salman Khan behaves like a good son."

"Even Emran Hashmi can't kiss Alok Nath daughters because of their sanskar."

"When you type Alok nath on Google search, "I'm feeling Lucky" changes to "I'm feeling Sanskari".

"In school days, Alok Nath bunked a lecture to attend his daughter's wedding."

"The only two wars Alok Nath has seen in his life are Haridwar and Pariwar."

"'Mujhe betiyon ki babuji banna hai' - Alok Nath when teacher asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up."

"Alok Nath is such a personality that at times his wife calls him bhaisaab."

"So someone did make Alok Nath trend at no. 1 spot! yeah the madness of a new year starting has begun."
Thursday, January 2, 2014
Funny Alok Nath Jokes - Houde Kharcha

Funny Alok Nath Jokes - Houde Kharcha


Alok Nath has replaced Rajnikant and CID jokes and all memes!!

Enjoy these, Like n Share!

1. When alok nath was born, doctor said “badhai ho, babuji hue hain”
2. Alok Nath school mein bhi lunch box ke badle Prasad le jaya karte the
3. Alok Nath temple run bhi chappal utar kar khelte hain
4. Alok Nath has no friends because he turns “Dosti into Rishteydaari”
5. Alok nath is so sanskari that he smokes agarbattis.
6. Alok Nath celebrated bachelor party in Vaishno Devi.
7. Alok Nath had all senior citizen privileges since he was 6 years old.
8. The only two wars Alok Nath has seen in his life.- Haridwar and Pariwar
9. Alok Nath has such a personality that sometimes his wife calls him bhaisahab!
10. Alok Nath was the first person to call Parle as ParleG
11. In school days, Alok Nath bunked a lecture to attend his daughter’s wedding.
12. Alok Nath has never received salary , he always receives pension
13. Alok Nath reads “All Indians are my brothers and sisters” as “All Indians are my Samdhans and Samdhis”.
14. Alok Nath is someone who is worried about Kanyadaan of the Girl who is yet to be born!
15. Alok Nath’s WhatsApp shows : “Last seen doing Kanyadaan at …”
16. When you type Alok Nath on Google search, “I’m feeling Lucky” changes to “I’m feeling Sanskari”
17. Alok Nath wants Facebook to add ‘Aashirwad’ button.
18. Alok naths morning tea is made with Gangajal
19. Alok naths watch displays only Achchha and Bura Samay
20. Alok Nath convinced Sunny Leone to quit P8rn.!
21. Alok Nath’s Caller Tune is ‘Babul ki Duaayein Leti Jaa…’

Alok Nath CV Reads as:-
Degree- MBA in Kanyadaan
Skills- Sanskaar
Experience- 10022848 Kanyadaans done
Hobby- Giving Ashirwads!
Memes and Jokes on Actor Alok Nath

Memes and Jokes on Actor Alok Nath

Alok Nath, who has worked in films like "Hum Saath Saath Hai", "Vivaah" and "Hum Aapke Hain Kaun" among others, has become an Internet sensation after jokes based on him started trending on Twitter.

On 30 December, Nath became a top trending topic on Twitter for no apparent reason, and since then jokes related to him started circulating on Twitter. The twitter trend also resulted in viral memes on Facebook.

A Facebook page, titled "Alok Nath Memes", was created on 1 January which now has more than 28,000 likes.








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